A Sliver of Brain Matter

So, I've been working with this high school program for the past year. Working hard to bring them a quality performance ensemble. I've had to fight for just about everything-- time, space, money to get the kids costumes for performances, etc. It hasn't been pleasant, or fun for me, but I do it for the kids, because otherwise most of them wouldn't be doing much of anything else. It gives them a chance to learn how to be a part of a team, to try something new, and to feel successful. Last year there were 10 kids in the program. Then we grew to 12, then shrank to 8, which happens, because high school kids are fickle. I asked the program sponsor at the school to hold recruiting opportunities-- have a table and show some videos of performances during the school's "activity fair", take the group to the middle school to do a performance and have the kids answer questions and meet 8th graders who might be interested in joining the group. Every time I asked, I w...

I'm super tired lately. I think age may be catching up to my desire to do things. I hope this is not the case! Just trying to take on too much? Not eating or exercising properly, not getting enough rest, and always being stressed at work probably doesn't help much either... maybe it's those things. yeah... it's probably those things. I barely have the energy to write this blog! I'm scared to take time to just relax and read a book because I think I may be missing out on an opportunity to recruit more kids to my non-profit performing arts organization! But, maybe I'm over-reaching and trying to do to much? What's wrong with just having 6 or 7 kids interested at first? Nothing!?! It's better than zero interested, right? Yeah! I wish that was good enough for me. :-/ I mean, There may be 30 kids interested for all I know. I guess it's the not knowing that bothers me the most.

I never thought my creativity would take the turn it has been lately. Rather than writing poetry or short stories, I've been creating websites, updating code, working with some html, and learning a little bit about web-hosting, site development, and marketing to try to create brand recognition. It's quite challenging! I am actually exhausted after spending about 5 hours trying to create a website that I'm happy with (I'm not happy with it) using iLife for the MAC. Because I'm not happy with it, I haven't uploaded it to the server yet, so the domain and server space I purchased today go unused and empty. Things could have been easier if I had hired someone to do the work, but after several weeks of trying to get people to help out, I've decided to do it myself. It's 1 pm, and I started this adventure at around 2 pm this afternoon, so I've spent about 11 hours on it (5 actually creating the website, the rest trying to figure out what I was doing, an...

Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though I have nothing positive to offer the world. Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though all the positive things I've tried to offer go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but during those moments I just can't help but feel that I'm the only one. It could be anything that sets me off-- sitting alone in a room, being in a room full of friends, creating a funny/poignant/heartfelt story, enjoying some ice cream, getting a "funny" look from a stranger... I wish I didn't have to deal with these feelings, as they really create a sense of self-loathing in myself and in my abilities. They make me question my existence (not in a metaphysical or existential way) in terms of a sense of pleasing myself and others. I try not to live my life to please others, and I generally go about things without caring much But when it comes to my wife, I only want to do what is right an...

Saw this and had to put it somewhere I knew I wouldn't forget about it. From the Austinist.com website in a post about ArtSpark: "One of this year's teams, Élan Productions, has developed a play with music titled di[verge] . The piece examines the notion that only five different moments in your life affect its ultimate outcome, and asks the question, "Do we ever really accept our present, or do we, as people, continue to dream about our past, and what might have been?" Which moments are your five moments? What if you did something different at one of those moments?"

Sometimes it just takes a little bit of work and investigation to solve a problem. I'm thinking about trying some artistic endeavors involving some artistic and technological interests I have. This could become a problem as I have a tendency to overthink things and attempt to put too much into something that could be quite lovely if done with a modicum of restraint. In other words, I try too hard sometimes. My thoughts: How can art and technology be combined in a performance arena? In other words, how can living breathing objects incorporate technology into their performance-- not through lighting, or technology to help design the show (although that's part of it), but rather... I know what I want to say but the words aren't coming to me right now. Example: Perform a piece to techno music-- music created and performed on computers or by computers, using props that symbolize or are actually constructed of technological advances (fiber optic cables, representative of iPods, ...

So I added 2 apps to my blog: Plurk and BlogLog that somehow are sending posts into the main body of my blog rather than keeping to their little side areas where I placed them. I don't see anything strange or different about my settings or layout, and I'm wondering why all these little 140 character or less posts are showing up in the "meaty" part of my blog. mmmmm.. meaty blog. Anyway, If anyone reads this, I could use some help in figuring this situation out! Anyone?