I've updated. Well, not a REALLY long time, but longer than I usually prefer. Let's see-- I've been swamped at real job. Looks like things are only going to get backed up and frustrating for the next month or so. Yay. I'm not feeling well. Allergies? A cold? I don't know, but my throat is on fire and I'm all sniffly and feel a bit on the warm side. It's 70 degrees and I'm sweating like it's in the upper 90s. Not fun. Been working a lot on the website ( http://budurl.com/677z ) for my non-profit group, and trying to promote it. I am probably not doing enough, but I don't have much time to work on it as I would like. I need to get more people involved. Our auditions for performance group are this weekend, so I'm hoping that we will actually have people show up and participate, and they will get the word out! If not, I don't know what to do. Give it up? Try again in a few weeks? I'm kind of confused. I also worry too much and need...
Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though I have nothing positive to offer the world. Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though all the positive things I've tried to offer go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but during those moments I just can't help but feel that I'm the only one. It could be anything that sets me off-- sitting alone in a room, being in a room full of friends, creating a funny/poignant/heartfelt story, enjoying some ice cream, getting a "funny" look from a stranger... I wish I didn't have to deal with these feelings, as they really create a sense of self-loathing in myself and in my abilities. They make me question my existence (not in a metaphysical or existential way) in terms of a sense of pleasing myself and others. I try not to live my life to please others, and I generally go about things without caring much But when it comes to my wife, I only want to do what is right an...
My year is almost over in a few ways 1) Tomorrow I will be 3 years from the big "40" 2) 2007 is almost over The past couple of weeks, I've been reflecting a lot on the past few years-- the years since moving from PA. I really think my life took a turn for the better once I broke up with Jen, met Judy, and bought--then sold--my house. Looking back, I see a lot of people in my life at that time going nowhere. Of the few I still keep in touch with *two are still living at home with their parents (or returning to live with their parents) *one is married and divorced, although much better off for it in my opinion *one is married with a child, still living in the same house and looking to sell it for the past 4 years. *one is working at a retail store, happily, though! and is a single parent I wonder how I would be if I were still in the area? Miserable? Looking for something more to give my life meaning? Would I really have left everything to go back to school for my PhD? ...
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