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time passes

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Reflections January 10, 2013

It’s been 3 years since I last wrote one of these Reflections.  Since then I’ve continued therapy with Ann and come a long way in my understanding of myself. I feel that I’m a much stronger person for it. I also feel that my relationship with Judy was in many ways saved because of the therapy. In fact, 5 and a half weeks ago Judy and I had a baby girl we named Helen Marie. It was a frightening time, but not devastatingly so; just frightening in the sense that Helen’s birth meant being deeply responsible for the life of another human being. She’s beautiful. Everyone says she looks like me, but I see so much of Judy in her. Her eyes, and the way she looks around observing, the way she sleeps and sighs. I love holding her and kissing her little hands and cheeks. Even when she needs a diaper change or is crying non-stop, I can’t stop thinking about being a good father to her and taking care of her. Of course, at times negative thoughts creep back in – “what if” thoughts. ...
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