time passes

time passes
it's gone

15 years gone by

a new home
a new state
a new (soon
to be an
old) job
new friends

one day you
are 24
lost alone

you're 47
and found
a lovely wife
two girls
one cat

Reflections January 10, 2013

It’s been 3 years since I last wrote one of these Reflections.  Since then I’ve continued therapy with Ann and come a long way in my understanding of myself. I feel that I’m a much stronger person for it. I also feel that my relationship with Judy was in many ways saved because of the therapy.
In fact, 5 and a half weeks ago Judy and I had a baby girl we named Helen Marie. It was a frightening time, but not devastatingly so; just frightening in the sense that Helen’s birth meant being deeply responsible for the life of another human being.
She’s beautiful. Everyone says she looks like me, but I see so much of Judy in her. Her eyes, and the way she looks around observing, the way she sleeps and sighs. I love holding her and kissing her little hands and cheeks. Even when she needs a diaper change or is crying non-stop, I can’t stop thinking about being a good father to her and taking care of her.
Of course, at times negative thoughts creep back in – “what if” thoughts. I just tell my…