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Showing posts from April, 2010

I woke up crying

Lately I've been having bad dreams about my mother.

First some background...

I didn't know my mother was really my mother until I was about 5 years old. Until that time, I was raised exclusively by my grandparents. It's a long story, and not one I know all the details about, but I'll just say it was confusing to find out the woman I thought of as mommy was actually my grandmother and the woman who would sometimes babysit us, and seemingly follow us around the country as we moved, was really my mother. This was an ongoing situation--my grandparents would move, and my mother would soon follow several months or even years later. Eventually, we would live with my mother for a while until she couldn't handle taking care of us any more, and we would be shuttled back and forth between mom and my grandparents.

Several years ago my mother experienced liver failure as a result of poor health maintenance and a lifetime of alcoholism. I knew my mother drank sometimes, and tha…