Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though I have nothing positive to offer the world. Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though all the positive things I've tried to offer go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but during those moments I just can't help but feel that I'm the only one. It could be anything that sets me off-- sitting alone in a room, being in a room full of friends, creating a funny/poignant/heartfelt story, enjoying some ice cream, getting a "funny" look from a stranger... I wish I didn't have to deal with these feelings, as they really create a sense of self-loathing in myself and in my abilities. They make me question my existence (not in a metaphysical or existential way) in terms of a sense of pleasing myself and others. I try not to live my life to please others, and I generally go about things without caring much But when it comes to my wife, I only want to do what is right an...
Well, the last month (and a few days) of the year have arrived! It's been quite a tumultuous 2008! In February I lost my job-- one I really enjoyed! In April I found a new job-- one I didn't enjoy, but it is growing on me, and I do it well. Friendships were lost, but new ones made. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. Since college, I'd say... but as the saying goes "good riddance to bad rubbish" and I'll add "and to high school mentalities!" I've started a bootstrap non-profit ( ATX Winterguard ) that is currently operating in the black, is gaining notice around the area, and will hopefully continue to be strong and productive in the goals I've set out. I've hired an all-volunteer staff that is amazing, and I wouldn't trade them for anything! My goal is to be able to pay them next year! Judy and I are still married and still going strong. I love her so much! I wish I could let her know just how much she means to me, but ...
Boring weekend, for the most part. For those in the know. I am a member of a drum and bugle corps from Dallas, TX. This corps is called FRONTIER and is an all-age corps including members as young as 13 and as old at mid 60's. I'm a member of the colorguard--or visual ensemble--and this past weekend we finally finished writing our show. It took a long time, but its actually nice to be done. The last two seasons the shows were not completed until championships weekend and then performed poorly at championships. This year we have 3 weeks to try and clean the show as much as possible. Well, technically we only have 2 weeks before finals, but that's better than an hour or two! The only thing that really sucked about this past weekend is that Judy (wife) had to stay home because she was teaching 2 summer classes and had to stay to give their finals on Saturday! Oh well, the life of a PhD candidate, I suppose... her blog is here if you want to look at it. That's about ...
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