A Sliver of Brain Matter

I never thought my creativity would take the turn it has been lately. Rather than writing poetry or short stories, I've been creating websites, updating code, working with some html, and learning a little bit about web-hosting, site development, and marketing to try to create brand recognition. It's quite challenging! I am actually exhausted after spending about 5 hours trying to create a website that I'm happy with (I'm not happy with it) using iLife for the MAC. Because I'm not happy with it, I haven't uploaded it to the server yet, so the domain and server space I purchased today go unused and empty. Things could have been easier if I had hired someone to do the work, but after several weeks of trying to get people to help out, I've decided to do it myself. It's 1 pm, and I started this adventure at around 2 pm this afternoon, so I've spent about 11 hours on it (5 actually creating the website, the rest trying to figure out what I was doing, an

Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though I have nothing positive to offer the world. Sometimes I go through moments where I feel as though all the positive things I've tried to offer go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but during those moments I just can't help but feel that I'm the only one. It could be anything that sets me off-- sitting alone in a room, being in a room full of friends, creating a funny/poignant/heartfelt story, enjoying some ice cream, getting a "funny" look from a stranger... I wish I didn't have to deal with these feelings, as they really create a sense of self-loathing in myself and in my abilities. They make me question my existence (not in a metaphysical or existential way) in terms of a sense of pleasing myself and others. I try not to live my life to please others, and I generally go about things without caring much But when it comes to my wife, I only want to do what is right an

Saw this and had to put it somewhere I knew I wouldn't forget about it. From the Austinist.com website in a post about ArtSpark: "One of this year's teams, Élan Productions, has developed a play with music titled di[verge] . The piece examines the notion that only five different moments in your life affect its ultimate outcome, and asks the question, "Do we ever really accept our present, or do we, as people, continue to dream about our past, and what might have been?" Which moments are your five moments? What if you did something different at one of those moments?"

Sometimes it just takes a little bit of work and investigation to solve a problem. I'm thinking about trying some artistic endeavors involving some artistic and technological interests I have. This could become a problem as I have a tendency to overthink things and attempt to put too much into something that could be quite lovely if done with a modicum of restraint. In other words, I try too hard sometimes. My thoughts: How can art and technology be combined in a performance arena? In other words, how can living breathing objects incorporate technology into their performance-- not through lighting, or technology to help design the show (although that's part of it), but rather... I know what I want to say but the words aren't coming to me right now. Example: Perform a piece to techno music-- music created and performed on computers or by computers, using props that symbolize or are actually constructed of technological advances (fiber optic cables, representative of iPods,